This comparison is important. The difference in these two birthdays is important. These photos are taken exactly a year apart: the left is my 18th birthday and the right is my 19th birthday. Here’s how these nights went:
18: I went out to a sushi restaurant with close friends and family. I refused to drink my first legal drink. I was wearing 2 pairs of pants and 3 sweaters. I had one bite of sashimi, ran to the bathroom, locked myself in the stall and purged. I refused to come out and my mom had to get the manager to unlock the door. I cried my eyes out and I had to convince the manager to let me sneak out the back because I was too embarrassed to go back to my own birthday party.
19: I met up with the same (with a few additions) group of friends at a pizza and wine bar. I had half a pizza, 3 glasses of wine and a slice of birthday cake. Scratch that, I had my face pushed into a piece of cake. In this picture I am over 30lbs heavier than one year ago today. I am wearing a thin tank top. I am warm, I am fulfilled and I love myself. (I am also pretty drunk).
I want you to know that recovery is 100% possible. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Some days, it took literally all my strength to push through meals. But I did it, and others can too. Eating disorders are not a “for life” sentence, although they feel like it. With hard work, adventure and patience, you can learn to love yourself again. You can learn to hold yourself together again.
Choosing to let Anorexia consume me would have been one of the last decisions I would have ever made. Choosing recovery was the single greatest decision I’ve ever made.
wonderfully inspirational <3
Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year. The morning of the first September was crisp and golden as an apple.
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (via ronk)
Friends, throughout life, fear will come knocking at the door, selling you the worst case scenario. Fear tells you, “You’re going to lose your job. Your marriage is over. Your business is falling apart. Your child is done. It’s all downhill from here.” When those thoughts come, you don’t have to buy in. You don’t have to accept those thoughts. Here’s the key: when fear knocks, let faith answer the door. Don’t give those thoughts of fear the time of day. Don’t let them intimidate you. Answer back with faith. “Lord, You said the number of my days You would fulfill. God, You said Your plans for me are for good and not evil. God, You said what’s meant for my harm You would turn around and use to my advantage.”
I’ve convinced my husband that if he doesn’t let our puppy lick his face, it will offend her and she will feel rejected and upset…
yes, he does let her. even after i told him i was joking. but l planted the seed of her being upset, now lets her just in case.